Are You And Your Partner Struggling To Connect?
Do you often feel estranged from your partner? Have arguments with your partner become so frequent that one or both of you automatically shuts down in an attempt to avoid further conflict? Perhaps the tension in your relationship has been triggered by a lack of physical intimacy, financial worry, parenting stress, or an infidelity? It’s even possible that you have wondered whether you and your partner would be better off separating. Are you both irritable around each other, but you do not know why? Do small disagreements with your partner quickly intensify and become full-blown arguments, leaving you feeling defensive, alone, agitated and hopeless? Do you wish you could feel secure, loved and connected in your relationship once again, or perhaps for the first time?
Relationship challenges can make you feel like you are stuck in a chasm of negative emotions, unable to find calm and focus in any area of your life. Throughout the day, you may constantly worry whether tension will boil over between you and your partner. At work, you may feel preoccupied by racing thoughts about your last big argument, dwelling on the heated words you and your partner exchanged. Your anxiety surrounding your relationship may cause you to dread returning home. You may even schedule late meetings or activities in the evening in order to avoid interacting with your partner. If you and your partner have children, you may have noticed that the frustration in your relationship has caused them to behave differently, perhaps becoming more reserved or agitated, making you worry about what they are learning about conflict and relationships. At the end of the day, you may feel like the joy you and your partner once shared has disappeared and your bond may be unsalvageable.
The good news is that recent evidence has proven that couples therapy is an effective way for partners to overcome their current challenges and reconnect. With the support of a skilled and thoughtful therapist, you and your partner can work to meet each other’s needs and move forward together with confidence.
Relationship Challenges Are Universal
Every relationship has its low points – times when partners feel like they cannot open up, communicate or connect. The truth is that it takes a lot of energy to maintain a healthy relationship. Navigating the complex and fast-paced modern world, it is common for partners to fall into negative patterns of communication, such as blaming, not fully listening or avoiding each other. Faced with busy schedules, many couples are under additional pressure to find the quality time they need to reconnect. Without meaningful interactions, intimacy or guidance, it’s easy for partners to continue to spiral down a negative path until the pain and frustration become too much to bear.
However, no matter your relationship challenges, you and your partner always have hope to change with the support of an experienced therapist.
Rebuild And Fortify Your Relationship During Couples Therapy
During safe couples counseling sessions, you and your partner will have the chance to assess the current state of your relationship, better understand and express your needs, resolve current conflict and build an even stronger foundation between the two of you. Since every relationship is different, our strategies and exercises will be personalized to your, and your partner’s, specific needs and strengths.
Often, the first step toward finding relief from tension in your relationship is understanding what has triggered your negative feelings about each other. We may analyze both of your families of origin to draw possible connections between your past relationships and your current relationship. If unresolved conflict from your childhood is contributing to your relationship challenges, then the three of us will work together to help you move past those emotional blocks.
Relationship counseling will offer you both a safe space to sit down together and talk through the different issues you have been dealing with, without distractions or interruptions. You will learn ways to actively listen to each other and understand how even the smallest of changes can make an enormous difference in your shared happiness. You will also have the opportunity to implement new communication strategies, such as slowing down your communication during disagreements and reflecting what you are hearing from your partner, so you both feel heard.
If your relationship has been damaged by a recent betrayal or affair, I will work with you and your partner as a conscious and caring professional, helping you gain insight on why the betrayal occurred and building a new foundation of trust and honesty. Throughout this process, we will focus on validating both of your emotions instead of resorting to blaming each other.
While you and your partner may worry that your relationship is beyond repair, the truth is that with the help of a compassionate therapist, you always have hope to reconnect. It’s also possible that once you engage in therapy you may find that separation is your best option. If so, the three of us can work together to mediate the end of your relationship so you can feel heard, understood and ready to move forward.
That said, after helping couples since 2006 and attaining advanced training in several therapy approaches, I’ve learned how resilient couples can be when they learn more about one another and take the necessary steps to reconnect with their partners. Couples therapy can show you how to regain the love and understanding that first brought you together.
As a husband and father of two, I am walking the path. Learning and growing in these roles, my experiences provide me with deeper understanding of my clients’ needs and allow me to offer the most effective solutions.
You may be interested in working with your partner in couples therapy sessions, but you still have questions and concerns…
We are concerned about how much money and time we will need to spend on relationship counseling.
Therapy is an investment in your relationship. Like anything of value, a relationship requires time, money and effort for maintenance over the years. Even if you and your partner aren’t facing overwhelming relationship problems, you can always benefit from seeking help from a professional. Taking the time and spending money now to eliminate tension can end up saving you years of stress, sadness and confusion. It’s important to remember that your relationship with your partner is one of the most—if not the most—valuable component to your life, and it is absolutely worth the investment.
What will others think of us if we attend marriage counseling?
Our sessions are 100 percent confidential, so you do not need to worry about anyone else finding out about our work together. That said, the stigma of therapy is often artificially constructed in our minds. It’s quite normal and healthy to seek help when you need it. In fact, if you decide to tell your close family and friends about your marriage therapy experience, it’s likely that they will want to support you throughout the process.
My partner doesn’t want to attend sessions. What can I do?
It’s very common for one partner to feel apprehensive about counseling. If your partner is on the fence about whether or not to attend, you can always have him or her call me to get an idea of what our sessions are like. Often, this initial contact is enough to ease any anxiety involving therapy.
However, if he or she still doesn’t want to attend sessions, you and I can work together through individual relationship therapy. During our individual sessions, we will focus on the changes you can make on your own in order to shift the dynamic in your relationship. No matter how your partner responds to these changes, you will ultimately feel more empowered and free. Learning key relationship tips on your own is a great initial step toward relieving tension within yourself, and can have a positive impact on your relationship.
Find Wholeness, Joy And Passion Within Your Relationship
If you are ready to work with your partner to repair and strengthen your bond, please contact me at 303-641-2023 to schedule a free phone consultation, during which you can discuss your specific relationship needs and learn more about how couples counseling sessions can help you.